So I had a bracelet made for me yesterday, with the words Faith, hope and love and i like it. I have wanted one like this for a while now, with these very words for they are words and values that I want to live out in my life. That however is not the reason for this post.
I was mulling over some of the things that have been going on in my life: assessing where I am now and where I dreamt I would be a number of years ago: and realising that there is a vast discrepancy. For instance, i thought I would have married by now, living in my own house with my own car and giving back materially in so many ways to friends, family and the education of the underprivileged. I envisioned I would have grown a lot more courageous as a believer, sharing my faith and reckless in my proclamations about the truth of the Grace of God and his readiness to always heal. always deliver and always prosper. I look at this and where I am and I know I am not yet there.
That said, I could say a number of things about my situation. I could look at it and say “Maybe God has a plan in this for me; maybe it is His will for.me to be here.” Or I could say, ” There is nothing wrong with God, it’s me. I must be confessing wrong or not praying enough. ” Or I maybe looking at it having done well in that which I believed was my role to play; I might know that I have prayed and trusted but still havent seen my answer—where in this case I either believe that like Daniel there is an enemy actively fighting my answer or I start to give in to the temptation to become weary.
But I think many times, the desire or.need to always have an explanation may be our own downfall. Because as I was thinking about this, I realised that the most honest answer I had for myself at this moment is, “I don’t know; and that is ok.” I don’t know because if I honestly knew, I would not be here, I would have done different—I don’t know because I do not have all the answers neatly lined up in a row the way I would.honestly prefer to have them. And in this moment when the epiphany hit me; I also realised that my “I don’t know” was actually an opportunity.
Even if your dreams do not look like mine; you may be familiar with the emotions and feelings that. I am sharing. I do not for a moment buy that it is the will of God.for.me to have unfulfilled dreams because I know He is a good God. He will not place dreams in my heart that He does not provide the path to fulfilment for. He really is GOOD.
But rather, the opportunity is this—to cede my right to know and in its place in my heart fasten a trust that says “I may not know why, but I know that He is good, and He will take me to the place that I have dreamed.” Because in this attitude, I believe we capture the true essence of what it is to have hope.